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(reminder: all quotes here are fiddled, probably.)

Bad Physics Jokes


笑到我肚都痛......
(唔明就算啦. 要等下一世先會明架咯, 呵呵呵.)

cosmic variance, Bad Physics Jokes:

Maxwell’s equations are coupled differential equations, but that we can decouple them and see something interesting (what will turn out to be the wave equation) by simply curling, a practice which still survives to this day as an Olympic sport…..


conductor......semiconductor.......superconductor
superconductor at 90 deg



Asher comments:

My prof, lecturing on operators and the Dirac system of notation made the following comment: “Operators are lucky: they are represented by matrices. All we've got is politicians!”


Mike comments:

My daughter is majoring in biology, but she loves physics jokes. She really loves this joke.

Physicist: We have learned that neutrinos have mass.
Studnet: I did not even know that they were Catholic.

She tells it to all sorts of people and frequently gets blank stares.


Schwaumlaut comments:
So an engineer, physicist, and mathematician are staying in a motel.

Late that night, a fire breaks out in the engineer’s room. He luckily wakes up, sees the fire, and dumps water on it until it’s out. Disaster averted, he returns to bed.

Later that night, a fire breaks out in the physicist’s room. He luckily wakes up, sees the fire, calculates how much water he’ll need, and puts just enough water on it that it goes out. Disaster averted, he returns to bed.

Later still, a fire breaks out in the mathematician’s room. He wakes up, sees the fire, exclaims, “There exists a solution!” and returns to bed.


Jemaleddin comments:

I’m sure you’ve all heard it, but for the sake of completeness:

Werner Heisenberg was pulled over for speeding. The police officer walked up to the car, leaned in the window and asked, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Doctor Heisenberg replied: “No, but I know exactly where I was.”


erc comments:

An algebra and number theory lecturer told us that the maths dept had been critisized in their last external assessment exercise for not trying often enough to connect with reality. Thus, he had to give real world examples. Then he “So, imagine an infinite chess board…”

We had to assume spherical potatoes for a P.D.E. question once too.


A hydrogen atom runs into a police station and says “Someone just stole my electron!”
Police officer: “Are you sure?”
Electron:”Yes, I’m positive!”


citrine comments:

I heard this joke at a Math awards ceremony and it always cracks me up.

A Physicist was explaining to a Mathematician and Engineer about 9-D spacetime. “How can you imagine 9-D spacetime?” the Engineer asked the Mathematician. Easy, said the Mathematician. “I imagine n-D spacetime and let n tend to 9.”


Howard comments:

Why are there no physicists in liberal organizations?

Because they know there is no potential function for a non-conservative force.

8 Comments:

:: Blogger Yun (08.08.07, 01:06   ) sagt...

I don't get the curling joke... but some of the comments are funny. But it's not cool to make fun of the mathematician about the fire at the hotel!

And why do people always like to group physicists, engineers, and mathematicians together?!

We are nerds!!! :D Hahaha!



:: Blogger Yun (08.08.07, 06:50   ) sagt...

Dieser Kommentar wurde vom Autor entfernt.



:: Blogger Yun (08.08.07, 08:03   ) sagt...

okay, for the curling joke, is it because of the transition of saying "simply curling" then he said it is a sport (where "curling" has a legitimate meaning)?

still not laughing loh!

oh, I thought the "hydrogen atom" one is funny too.



:: Blogger 易亦 (08.08.07, 11:44   ) sagt...

yup, the hydrogen one is funny.



:: Blogger 怒火眼睛 (08.08.07, 13:08   ) sagt...

>唔明就算啦. 要等下一世先會明架咯, 呵呵呵
謙呢家野, 果如水過鴨背呀...
山山, 我答左你lu. 請指教.



:: Blogger sf (08.08.07, 23:00   ) sagt...

怒眼媽媽,
"謙呢家野, 果如水過鴨背呀...山山, 我答左你lu. 請指教."
點敢指教呢, 我同你差幾班呀.
半天不開口, 一開口就捉個正著.
果然眼明手快, 乾脆利落.
真個甘拜下風呀, 金剛_師_姐_.



:: Blogger sf (08.08.07, 23:34   ) sagt...

易亦, 你又識? 好野喎, 有心機睇晒喎.

小雲, 但係我好鍾果個笑話, 真係好中喎尤其是講mathematican個句. 點解D讀物理的人那麼喜歡拿數學佬來開玩笑呢, 你想一想, 當你時時遇上稀奇古怪的方程不曉得解答, 去查數學書找解法, 書上寫了半天證明了一大輪, 結果好像天大發現般, 原來是"there exists a solution.", 或者偉大一點 "there exists a UNIQUE solution." 如此完滿, 你說不拿他們尋尋開心, 豈能平衡心理?



:: Blogger Yun (09.08.07, 02:21   ) sagt...

我唔覺mathematicians係咁喎。(好有in denial既感覺!) 我地可以好精靈架。(死頂。)

唔同你講呢D立場敵對既野喇... 唔好玩既...

> 你說不拿他們尋尋開心, 豈能平衡心理?

拿拿拿﹐仲唔認心理唔平衡? :P



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