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(reminder: all quotes here are fiddled, probably.)

飄然而去


Hawkes, The Story of the Stone ch.1:

One day, in the midst of its lamentings, it saw a monk and a Taoist approaching from a great distance, each of them remarkable for certain eccentricities of manner and appearance.

When they arrived at the foot of Greensickness Peak, they sat down on the ground and began to talk.

一日,正當嗟悼之際,俄見一僧一道,遠遠而來,生得骨格不凡,丰神迥異,來到這青埂峰下,席地坐談。

1.1. One day = 一日
1.2. in the midst of its lamentings = 正當嗟悼之際
1.2. it saw a monk and a Taoist = 俄見一僧一道
1.3. approaching from a great distance = 遠遠而來
1.4. each of them remarkable for certain eccentricities of manner and appearance = 生得骨格不凡,丰神迥異

2.1. When they arrived at the foot of Greensickness Peak = 來到這青埂峰下
2.2. they sat down on the ground and began to talk = 席地坐談
2.2.1. sat down on the ground = 席地
2.2.2. begain to talk = 坐談


The monk catching sight of a lustrous, translucent stone --- it was in fact the rejected building block which had now shrunk itself to the size of a fan-pendant and looked very attractive in tis new shape --- took it up on the palm of his hand and addressed it with a smile:

見著這塊鮮瑩明潔的石頭,且又縮成扇墜一般,甚屬可愛。那僧托於掌上,笑道:

1.1. The monk catching sight of a lustrous, translucent stone = 見著這塊鮮瑩明潔的石頭
1.2. it was in fact the rejected building block which had now shrunk itself to the size of a fan-pendant = 且又縮成扇墜一般
1.2.1. it was in fact the rejected building block = 且又
1.4. and looked very attractive in its new shape = 甚屬可愛
1.5. took it up on the palm of his hand and addressed it with a smile = 那僧托於掌上,笑道
1.5.1. with a smile = 笑
1.5.2. addressed it = 道



`Ha, I see you have magical properties! But nothing to recommend you. I shall have to cut a few words on you so that anyone seeing you will know at once that you are something special.

形體倒也是個靈物了,只是沒有實在的好處;須得再鐫上幾個字,使人人見了,便知你是件奇物。

1.1. Ha, I see you have magical properties = 形體倒也是個靈物了
1.2. But nothing to recommend you = 只是沒有實在的好處
1.3. I shall have to cut a few words on you = 須得再鐫上幾個字
1.4. so that anyone seeing you = 使人人見了
1.5. will know at once that you are something special = 便知你是件奇物
1.5.1. will know at once = 便知


`After that I shall take you to a certain brilliant / successful / poetical / cultivated / aristocratic / elegant / delectable / luxurious / opulent locality on a little trip.'

然後攜你到那昌明隆盛之邦、詩禮簪纓之族、花柳繁華之地、溫柔富貴之鄉那裡去走一遭。

1.1. After that I shall take you to a certain locality on a little trip
= 然後攜你到裡去走一遭
1.2. brilliant successful = 昌明隆盛之邦
1.3. poetical cultivated aristocratic = 詩禮簪纓之族
1.4. elegant delectable = 花柳繁華之地
1.5. luxurious opulent = 溫柔富貴之鄉


The stone was delighted. `What words will you cut? Where is this place you will take me to? I beg to be enlightened.'

`Do not ask', replied the monk with a laugh. `You will know soon enough when the time comes.'

石頭聽了大喜,因問:「不知可鐫何字?攜到何方?望乞明示。」

那僧笑道:「你且莫問,日後自然明白。」

1.1. The stone was delighted = 石頭聽了大喜
1.2. What words will you cut? = 不知可鐫何字?
1.3. Where is this place you will take me to? = 攜到何方?
1.4. I beg to be enlightened = 望乞明示
1.4.1. beg = 望乞
1.4.2. enlightened = 明示

2.1. Do not ask = 你且莫問
2.2. replied the monk with a laugh = 那僧笑道
2.3. You will know soon enough when the time comes = 日後自然明白


And with that he slipped the stone into his sleeve and set off at a great pace with the Taoist. But where they both went to I have no idea.

說畢,便袖了,同那道人飄然而去,竟不知投向何方。

1.1. And with that = 說畢
1.2. he slipped the stone into his sleeve = 便袖了
1.3. and set off at a great pace with the Taoist = 同那道人飄然而去
1.3.1. at a great pace = 飄然
1.3.2. set off = 而去
1.4. But where they both went to I have no idea = 竟不知投向何方。

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她偶爾拿起一本書來


自己的屋子還是房子才夠?讀賴慈芸翻譯偵探事務所讀到一段引文, 是王還譯的, 出自伍爾芙一間自己的屋子 (A Room of One's Own). 王還譯:

她偶爾拿起一本書來,也許是她哥哥的,看一兩頁。

She picked a book now and then, one of her brother's perhaps, and read a few pages.

賴慈芸讚之曰相當流暢. 然後又引了張秀亞的譯文, 稱之曰也很流暢. 我猜賴慈芸一定是怕得失人, 不好意思講白, 只好相當也很, 說來說去只說流暢多流暢. 單論這一段 其實王譯何止相當流暢, 簡直比張譯高一個層次. 張秀亞譯:

她偶然間會撿到一本書,也許是她哥哥的書,就讀了幾頁。

王譯遣詞造句, 造就出女主角漫不經心的氣氛. 看而非看了, 一兩頁而非幾頁, 看一兩頁何其不經意不經心. 張譯的撿字顯得著意. 重複書字又使節奏拖沓, 煞有介事.

但是他的父母來了,叫她去補襪子,去看燉著的菜,不要在這裡瞎翻書卷,白費時候。(王譯)

But then her parents came in and told her to mend the stockings or mind the stew and not to moon over books and papers.

但是這時她的爹媽進來了,要她補襪子,看鍋子煮的東西,不要對著書本同紙筆恍恍惚惚的。(張譯)

再說, 叫她去補襪子去看燉著的菜, 兩個去字重複句式, 反顯出這兩句話風馬牛不相及, 不過隨口拿來責怪女主角. 至於在這裡瞎翻書卷, 白費時候 (moon over books and papers), 何等傳神, 何等峻厲. 賴慈芸只道她很喜歡, 太含蓄了.

他們說這話的聲氣一定很嚴厲而又很慈愛,因為他們是有資產的人,知道女人的生活條件是什麼,而且愛他們的女兒。(王譯)

They would have spoken sharply but kindly, for they were substantial people who knew the conditions of life for a woman and loved their daughter — indeed, more likely than not she was the apple of her father's eye.

上下聯絡得多麼周密. substantial people 解有資產的人 (有家底的人/殷實人家?), 開了眼界. 最後一句依張譯 深愛這個女兒 似更好. 更字不必, 深字應受得起:

他們可能會對她的口氣很嚴又很和藹,因為他們是很實在的人,他們了解女人的生活條件,他們更深愛著這個女兒。(張譯)

信口雌黃於自己一角天地 --- a room of my own, 難得逍遙.

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